No need for a bookmark!!

Get it as an E-Book now!!!  You can read it on your computer, your phone, and on a boat, and on a train.  You can read it here and there.  You can read it everywhere!  image

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The Mirror Has Two Faces

I only blog after dark.  Just like a vampire, I wait until the sun goes down before I start spilling blood.  Well, not really blood, more like words.  I spill words late at night.  But never during the day.

That is because I am two people.  In the daytime, I am Allyson: the mom/wife/sister/daughter focused on getting through the day and making sure that everyone around me has what they need.  Then, at night, I’m Al: I am (somewhat) relaxed, loose, and start thinking about what it is that I want to do.  Do I want to read a book? Watch t.v.?  Have a glass of wine?  It’s me-time, baby.  Show’s over.

I am not alone.  Everyone has two sides of themselves, whether or not they want to admit it.  There’s the one face that you show to the world, and then there is the real person inside.  It takes a lot of bravery to show both of your faces at the same time: Bruce Jenner is doing it.  Lady Gaga did it last night at The Oscars.  It can be scary and it can also backfire: Brian Williams is in trouble for doing it.

My little Aidan is having trouble with his two sides.  On the outside, he’s a 6 year old, who is missing his front teeth and who enjoys soccer and fruit snacks.  On the inside, he’s a much older person, who, for fun, reads all forms of historical non-fiction, watches documentary on famous inventors, and loves discussing cell biology and disease.  The best way to illustrate this is the following story: while observing his brother Sam at a final callback last week for a musical, he asked me what the director was doing.  “He’s lining them up,” I told him.  “He wants to see who he likes, and who he doesn’t.  He needs to figure out who he wants.”  Aidan turned to me, and, without skipping a beat, said, “Yeah, you know who else did that?  Slave owners.”

Poor Aidan lives with these two selves all the time.  He can’t figure out when to take out the little kid and when to take out the older one.  He gets in trouble at school if he brings out his teenager mentality while still acting like a little kid.  People don’t know how to react. He’s conflicted, angry and confused.  It’s tough to learn how to live with two different people inside of you.  I have only now learned how to keep both parts of myself alive at different times of the day.

Perhaps the reason why people so far have loved the “Mom On The Road” book is because there are many people who know me by my daytime “mom-ish/charitable/vanilla” self, who are somewhat shocked to read a book written by me that includes sex, masturbation, and several other graphic and controversial scenarios.  “Wow.  I never knew you had that in you!” said a woman I have known from places like school pick-up and the grocery store.  I don’t.  At least, not during the day.  (I wrote most of my book at night as well.)

This past weekend, I watched a friend I have known for over a decade show a new side of herself to me.  Diagnosed with breast cancer only months before her daughters’ dual bat mitzvah, she soldiered through a weekend of celebrations with one goal in mind: do not feel bad for me.  Do not pity me, and do not take the focus off of my daughters.  I’m fine.  Now, I know she’s not fine.  I went to chemotherapy with her last week, and have watched what her body is going through.  She’s exhausted and in pain and weak.  But no one would have ever known that this weekend.  One person: two people.  Both are amazing.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with having dual identities.  It’s incredible if people can juggle them both, and it is heartbreaking to watch them be simply unable to do so.  It’s even worse if the world doesn’t know how to react.

So, tonight, I will quote the great Johnny Castle from Dirty Dancing, combined with some knowledge that we gained from “American Sniper”: nobody puts a fake baby in the corner.  It’s very hard when you are trying so hard to put on an act that no one with any sense will believe.

If you can, don’t hide who you really are.  Embrace the two sides of yourself.  We have learned Lady Gaga can be strange and also incredibly talented.  We have learned that Bruce Jenner can be a loving father, while wishing he was a woman.  And our family is trying to figure out how a toothless 6 year old who has temper tantrums over empty bags of chips, can also compare callbacks to a slave auction.

Join the best parts of yourself together, if you can, and see how the world reacts.  See how you feel.  That’s what blogging does for me.  That’s what writing this book did for me.

(Momontour legal disclaimer: the book is not about me.  It’s about a woman who worked for the Mariposa County Public Defender’s Office and, in real life, I worked for the Maricopa County Public Defender’s Office.  The first stop of her tour went to West Haven, Connecticut, but in real life, I went to New Have, Connecticut.  See?  IT’S TOTALLY DIFFERENT.)


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Get It On The Kindle!

Maggie is officially there waiting for you inside of your Kindle……..


*Still waiting on the Nook.  But really, who owns a Nook?

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The Internet is for Porn

In preparing my book “Mom On The Road” for conversion to complete digital distribution, I am intrigued by the amount of online categories of literary fiction there are about women.

Perhaps I am cutting my readers short. My next book will just have to include some of these fine topics.

I apologize for this book’s lack of any women drinking pee. If that’s what my readers want, you got it guys!




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Fifty Shades of Me

To my loyal readers,

Happy Valentine’s Day.

Thank you for all the love you have shown me.

Now it’s time for you to meet Maggie Stevens: she’s anxious, stressed, exhausted, happy, sad, silly, crazy, normal, fun, boring, outrageous, normal, eager, discouraged, confused, smart, dumb, nice, mean, hungry, old, young, skinny, fat, quiet, shy, loud, boisterous, sexy, androgynous, ugly, pretty, interesting, timid, hot, cold, friendly, withdrawn, near, far, parental, childlike, inappropriate, well-mannered, mother, sister, wife, daughter, loyal & fierce.

She is you and she is me.

Hope you enjoy.

*Will also be available on Nook and Kindle this week!

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Looking for a Valentine’s Gift?

Excerpt from “Mom On The Road” (due out by this Saturday, February 14-Valentine’s Day!)

I was retaining so much water that I could have easily donated some to a country
going through a drought. My hands and face were swollen and puffy. I could no
longer remove my wedding rings at the end of the day. If I was able to put on a
pair of jeans, I had serious trouble getting them off. If I was able to
maneuver them over my expanding thighs and ass, my brand-new chubby ankles were
the final roadblock to pant removal. It was not uncommon for one of my kids to
find me on the floor of my bedroom yelling for help to come pull my jeans off.
I was literally stuck in my life.

AND GET EXCITED FOR THE “MOM ON THE ROAD” SEQUEL: “MOTHER BLOGGER” (Due as soon as everyone in my house stops asking me to get up and get them things)

Here’s a sneak peak at the back and front cover:

From the author of the best-selling smash hit debut novel “Mom On The Road” comes the sequel fans have long been waiting for: “Mother Blogger.” Maggie Stevens returns home energized from her life on tour and from the positive response of her blog. She continues to blog, but when one of her posts exposes too much, her family’s life is thrown into turmoil. Come with Maggie as she figures out how much sharing is too much and where to draw the line in an age of internet parenting and “mommy blogging.”

 Mom On The Road” was released on February 14, 2015. It went straight to number one on the New York Times bestseller list and remained there for millions of years, beating out “The Bible” as the greatest story ever told. It has been translated into hundreds of languages, including “Idaga,” a language she used to use with her friends in the 1980s.

 The book was turned into an Academy-Award winning film starring Julia Roberts as Maggie Stevens. The miniseries based on the book became the most popular television series ever, and the finale still has people talking to this day. Much like “The Sopranos” ending, fans still can’t figure out what the hell happened.

About the Author:

Allyson Ochs Primack is now a multimillionaire and she resides on her own island in the middle of the ocean. She has several servants and spends a lot of time hanging out in a white string bikini & sipping martinis without gaining weight. Celebrities often stop by her yacht, and they all enjoy jumping into the ocean together holding hands.  

Mother Blogger - High Resolution

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The Back of the Book!


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