My husband runs a half marathon every year here in Phoenix. A few years ago, I decided I would walk it with a friend while he ran. I don’t run outside, only on the treadmill while reading People Magazine or Us Weekly (which really freaks people out because I don’t move my head while I read). When I got to the starting line, I couldn’t find my friend (this was before cellphones) and I realized I would have to run to get back to my car. And so I ran, really really fast, 13.1 miles, with no training. When I got through the finish line, I realized I couldn’t feel my feet and ended up in physical therapy for a year.
As I prepare for Sam’s going away party tonight, I am reminded of that marathon because I really don’t know what I’m doing with this tour. Every time I see anyone, they ask me “how are you going to do this? how is this going to work?” and even though I have charts and diagrams of how this is all going to go, the answer is I just don’t know. (This is why I have been spotted ducking down in the frozen foods section in the grocery store. No more questions, please!)
Do any of us really know what we are doing? When you have a baby and they hand it to you, most people are like, ok, now what? And every day, I wonder if I’m doing things correctly. 15 years as a trial attorney, I’m still mostly clueless. Most of the time I am using things I saw on Law and Order that I saw the night before. And when my kids ask why someone would shoot little kids or if they are going to be safe at school, or will it be ok when I won’t get to see you every day, I have no clue what to say.
So, the answer is that no one really ever knows what they are doing most of the time. And if you do, that is great. I don’t. The thing that got me through to the finish line at the half marathon were the people cheering for me at each mile post. I thought, well, these people are excited for me, even if I have never done this before. And that is the point of my blog.