Today I went to the hotel gym, and as I walked towards the door, I heard a man yelling “go get ’em! good job!” I figured, there’s a class going on in there. Or, a bunch of guys working out. But when I walked in, there was one guy on the treadmill, cheering himself on.
Earlier today, I said goodbye to my mom, Lauren and Aidan, and put them in a car (driven, of course, by my mom’s new friend Andrew), off to the airport. There were many tears shed last night and this morning, and as I watched them drive away I felt……relief. It was over. The thing I had been dreading so long, saying goodbye for the first time, was over. And I was still standing.
After I dropped off Sam at school/rehearsal, I did a load of laundry in my hotel, which apparently requires many many quarters. Then I worked out with the self-motivated man on the treadmill and went back to our room. And it was silent. And instead of feeling sad, I felt content. I can finally think. And read. And watch TV shows that are not Spongebob or Victorious. And I got my nails done and didn’t have to rush off in my car anywhere. And I had lunch that was not pizza.
As parents we spend so much time taking care of everyone but ourselves, that sometimes it takes someone to practically force you into a situation to focus on yourself. We never really think about what we, ourselves, want to do in a day. It is what needs to be done for everyone else. Being alone is such a rare treasure for me. And I have decided, at least for today, to enjoy it.
One of my favorite scenes in a recent move is from the Steve Carrell/Tina Fey “Date Night” where they play husband and wife. Steve Carell asks Tina Fey why she doesn’t get excited when he walks in the door at the end of the day. Does she fantasize about other guys instead? And she tells him her number one fantasy is not to cheat on him with anyone, but to be alone in a hotel room, with a Diet Sprite. In complete and total silence.
I totally totally get that. So now I’m in my silent hotel room, with my Diet Sprite. It is a fantasy come true. My kids are now home with Carlotta and Craig, and they go back to their routine tomorrow. So, we are taking it one day at a time.
Tonight I will sleep in my 2 bedroom suite in a bed without anyone else in it. Which is a lot better than last night, where Aidan refused to go to bed and sat in a chair next to our bed until midnight, just glaring at me with his arms crossed yelling “I’m not going to bed!” So, tonight I’ll enjoy the quiet. Tomorrow, I may miss the noise. Or not.
But, for today, I can cheer myself on.