A homeless man in Times Square last night was holding up a sign that said “I need money to buy marijuana. Why lie?” That is the question these days.
Craig is a big road biker and he and his biking friends have always held Lance Armstrong in high regard. Sam asked me if Daddy was mad at Lance for using drugs. And Craig and I both told him it isn’t about the drugs, it’s about the lies. And the extent he went to cover them up. For me, it’s also about what happens to the good thing he was trying to do: raise cancer awareness.
Lance and also the football player who lied that his girlfriend had cancer and died, to me, did something worse than lie. They used cancer as a guard, a shield, from their lies (Lance said he wouldn’t do drugs bc he had had cancer).
I’m sure everyone out there knows someone who has or had some type of cancer. There are new kinds popping up every day. Ocular cancer, tongue cancer, huge numbers of pediatric cancers, and with all the advancements we have, people keep dying. We cannot afford to lose focus on this disease.
Pope John Paul said “An excuse is far worse than a lie, because an excuse is a lie, guarded.” I try to make sure that I am as truthful as possible each day, and if there are white lies that must be told, that it only hurts me and no one else.
Truth is, that while I’m on this plane home to AZ, I’m nervous. I’m nervous that I am not with Sam as he transitions from NY to New Haven, (even though he’s in the BEST hands possible thanks to our friend Bobb). I’m nervous to see my house bc I have heard Carlotta organized it from top to bottom. I’m nervous to have someone living at our house whose job it is to take care of my family. I’m scared I won’t let her help me (I already told her to go on a trip next week bc I don’t need her) and I’m nervous that I’m going to lose it next Friday when I have to leave my family again.
I’m telling the truth bc I don’t want anyone to think that this kind of life is easy. I don’t want anyone to think they could do it too without understanding all that’s involved.
Truth is that I enjoyed one on one time with Sam, and that I think the creative process is incredible. I’m just not sure how the rest of this will go. I’m not gonna lie.