What’s Up, Doc?

It is no secret that I love medication. I carry Motrin and Tylenol with me at all times. I have travel size Tums wherever I go. Zyrtec rocks it in Arizona allergy season. When my kids have trouble sleeping, I’m glad to give out some Benadryl. When I can’t sleep, I have my Ambien (a role formerly played in my life by Melatonin, Valerian Root, and Tylenol PM). When Lauren was little, she got so excited by medication that she used to ask for some before bed. We created a new one for her, called “Ga-Tor-Ade” (FYI: it was Gatorade in a medicine cup.)

Craig currently has a sore throat, which as many of you non-men know, will be the most traumatic event ever. Men can’t seem to handle any illness. Which is why women have the babies. Our population would die out if the men had to do it. Good thing he’s married to me, because I have a collection of Cepacol spray and Halls lozenges to help him out. (even though NOTHING will cure his sore throat. It will be the worst one in history. Trust me.)

Today I went to what many women deem the most luxurious day of the year: the annual OBGYN trip. It always amazes me. Why do they still have the scale from the 1950s there? Has no one told them about the new digital craze? I have a female doctor and always will. I have a friend who thinks having a massage with a male masseuse while fully undressed is cheating on your husband. So, to clarify, a male doctor is not? I’m pretty sure when a male doctor has your lady parts in front of his face after squeezing your breasts, you have committed some violation of the Bible.

My doctor’s office has, however, updated to electronic medical records. They gave me my paper forms from 2002 to help me update my new records. It was fun going down memory lane, as in, OMG, I remember when I thought I had that disease!! I also now disagree with myself as to when I got my period for the first time. 2002 me thought I was 13, but today’s me is convinced I was 12. I also have never understood the blood pressure readings. Am I supposed to get excited when it’s 102 over 73? I have no idea what it all means.

Sam is almost done with school for the week in Ft Lauderdale, and has shows Friday night and on Sunday. Saturday he has what’s called a “Golden Day”: no school, no rehearsal and no shows. His great-uncle came in from Atlanta to see the shows this weekend and he’s hopefully received the packages I sent to him at the hotel (3 weeks away from his Mom. Just like camp. I’m sure he needed sunscreen, right?)

The Addams Family’s National Tour stops June 30 in Portland, and then they are going to Asia for 3 months. We had always been on the fence about Asia, and a few weeks ago we had to formally say no. They are going to wonderful places like Singapore and Macao, and I cannot imagine a more incredible cast to travel with, anywhere. We sat down and discussed it as a family. We have been able to go back and forth to see Sam monthly, and Lauren and Aidan see him quite often (they will join him in San Antonio, Boston and Portland). We could not do this with Asia being so far away. Sam’s best friends are his siblings and we need to keep this family close. We need to keep doing these very educational videos, as seen below. It is important to keep Aidan updated on movie humor from the 1980s.

The cast comes back mid-September and continue their tour through June of 2015 all over the USA, including Alaska. We plan on meeting up with them as much as we can. We will really miss our amazing new friends. Many people ask me what’s next for Sam? Where does he go from here? Remember, I am new at this. I have no idea what to do from here. I’m learning along with all of you. I hope you will continue on this journey with us as long as there is a story to tell.

I think I like medication because it claims to help most every part of the body. So, perhaps they could make one to calm down 10 year old girls when they constantly slam doors all day long, upset about everything. Maybe they could make one to make 4 year old boys sit down and relax for a few minutes. And maybe they could make one to bring my 11 year old son across the country for me for days like today, when I want to hug him and Skype just isn’t cutting it.

No matter what medicine is invented, though, nothing will help my husband feel better. It will be the worst cold ever.

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One Response to What’s Up, Doc?

  1. Lisa says:

    Isn’t that what Lottie called the Einstein poster??

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