Recently, I was at a dinner party in Arizona. I sat next to a girl and we talked about trying to find the perfect neighborhood here to raise our famiies. She described her childhood neighborhood as an amazing place where the kids ran around all day, went to the community parks after school, and all the neighbors were trusted friends. I told her that it sounded just like mine in Michigan. “I’m from Michigan too” she said. Within minutes, we realized that we grew up in the exact same neighborhood: Rolling Oaks in Farmington Hills, MI. She is about 8 years older than I am, so we didn’t go to school together. But she lived about a block away from me.
Last week, I got Botox for the first time (on my forehead). It looks great and natural, except that I can move my left eyebrow and not my right. Also, I purchased a prescription skin care product system, so in just 11 easy steps per day, I might get rid of my sun spots and crow’s feet. I now have to add a half hour onto each of my morning and evening face-preparation regimes. (For the record, I never had a beauty regime before. Prior to this purchase, I just washed my face and put on whatever moisturizer sample I had laying around that came with that week’s newspaper. I used to be curious as to what celebrities meant by a beauty regime. I thought it was a made up thing, like the “I keep my weight off my chasing my kids around the house” exercise regime.)
After you have Botox, you are not supposed to put any pressure on your forehead for a few days, i.e. sleeping on your stomach or getting a massage and putting your face through the hole in the table. But, I have a 4 year old who loves to go biking, and I had to go with him. So, I put the helmet on my head and tried to loosen and angle it so it didn’t ruin my forehead. Yep, that’s right. I was more worried about protecting my forehead than my brain.
The benefit of having Sam in The Addams Family is that MAC is the sponsor of the make-up for the show. Sooo, I get a MAC membership card. For those not familiar with this little gem, let me share. It is a serious discount on all MAC products for a year for theatre professionals (and, apparently, for their moms). So, I am now the proud new owner of all new MAC makeup items. I told the guy to pick out a foundation a shade darker than I currently use. I did not try it on because I am such a make-up professional that I thought it “looked” fine. So, today, I quickly applied it and ran out the door to attend a charity luncheon. It was only when I got home that I realized I had been chatting with Vince Vaughn’s step-mom for two hours wearing blackface.
If you ever listen to Carole King’s “Really Rosie” album, there is a song called Simple, Humble Neighborhood. This song describes Rolling Oaks: a simple neighborhood where everyone is free and safe. I have never found that neighborhood here. I doubt it really exists anywhere anymore. We can’t just let our kids roam around until dark: too many bad stories of bad people out there. No more playing in neighborhood parks: ours is locked up at night and on weekends to prevent vandalism. No more wandering in and out of every neighbor’s home: we just don’t know who to trust anymore.
I used to think that by dying the grays in my hair, and trying to get rid of the wrinkles and bags under my eyes, that I was trying to freeze time. But, I think what I really want to do is to go back in time. Not just to a time where I could wear short shorts without worrying that my thighs were hanging out of them, but to a time where everything was safer and easier. A time where we didn’t worry when we went to the movies, or to school, or to watch a marathon. A time where my 4 year old doesn’t tell me about the safety drill they had at school where they practice hiding from gunmen. A time where politicians made laws to protect us and the environment, and not to protect businesses.
I don’t know what’s going on with this world. I don’t think any of us do. But, if you, my Mom On Tour readers, don’t try and help me make this world a better place by going out there and doing something positive, or by helping people in need, or by living each day as if it’s your last, then I will start holding you responsible for some of it. I will raise my eyebrows at you.
Well, not both of them. Only the left one.