Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t..

“Oh, thank God, they are gone. I can breath again.” Allyson Primack 5/13/13

The above quote was not about bugs or rats or masked home intruders. It was about my younger two children.

Lauren and Aidan left San Antonio on Monday to go back to AZ, while Sam and I flew to Omaha with the cast. As much as it is so great for the kids to be reunited, it is really flipping exhausting.
(I am now using non swear-words for my younger fans.)

Life on tour is unstructured and can be very sporadic. As a mom, this is the one thing you try to avoid. Breakfast at noon, lunch at 4 between shows and dinner somewhere around 10 pm. The kids did not want to leave each other’s sides, except when they wanted to kill each other because they were overstimulated and overtired.

Both kids are sick of traveling and it causes Sam to lose focus of his surroundings. And, as Aidan pointed out, all of America looks the same so why does he keep getting on planes to see the same thing? (And FYI, the San Antonio Riverwalk is “boring” because it’s about “stupid history.”) They don’t care about cool restaurants if they don’t serve chicken nuggets. They really don’t even want to leave the hotel once they arrive. Mostly they want to take turns crying over who Sam pays more attention to, and then go down to the hotel lobby store to buy a $5.00 bag of Doritos and a keychain with their name on it.

I have to agree with Aidan that a lot of the USA does look the same. There are freeways and stores and restaurants and 8 million Starbucks. We are in Omaha for a week but I’m pretty sure I have seen most of it in my 2 days here so far. (Although Sam went to the zoo here today for school and I hear it is the best zoo in the nation).

And so, I’m tired and cranky from lack of sleep and too many calming travel pills. Also I have PMS so I want to simultaneously kill and eat everything in sight. I don’t know what time zone I’m in and I can’t find my special hotel sheets. Tomorrow I miss Aidan’s Pre K graduation and then Monday, Craig will miss Sam’s 12th birthday.

When I was in law school I started my famous tradition of building a PMS fort out of blankets and chairs in my apartment. I’d hide in there until I felt a little more presentable to the world. (I also used to dress up in a formal gown to watch the Oscars on the couch). You can confirm all of this with Lesley, my post-college roomie of 4 years. (She can also fill you in on the time I made her walk to go get frozen custard in a blizzard because I was in the mood for some. People who have had custard on Woodward Rd in Birmingham, MI will understand).

This week my PMS fort is in a Doubletree in Omaha, Nebraska. Don’t ask me to leave here unless you have good custard to offer.

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