I am starting a new weekly column called Top Ten Things I Hate. Because so many things irritate me, this will not be hard to do on a weekly basis.
In no particular order, here we go:
1. I hate that the Kardashians had no trouble letting us watch them wax each others vaginas, but they want their privacy now that things are not perfect over there. Don’t flip off the photographer when last week he was allowed to film you going potty.
2. I hate that the checkout people at the grocery store are required to comment on one of my purchased items. “Oh, what aisle did you find these fruit snacks in? They look delicious!” Hey, dude. Drop the act. It’s the fruit snack aisle. You had previously pointed me there when I asked you where to find them.
3. Yes, it’s totally rude to talk on the phone in a check out aisle. But sometimes in this world an important call comes through and you are waiting to ring up bread. So register lady, do not roll your eyes at me if I’m still on the phone as you scan my items. It was my doctor calling with test results or the school nurse calling about my son.
4. I hate false charity. What is that? That is someone who claims that they are charitable when really they are only charitable for things that will directly benefit themselves or their family.
5. I hate when I go to lunch with someone and I am jealous of what that person ordered so I spend my whole meal distracted by the other persons’ “better food choice.”
6. I hate that Malala didn’t get the Nobel peace prize. In this world, we have contests for who can be the best at something so now she’s not the winner of the “most bravest person” of the year award. And she is. So why does this award exist at all.
7. I hate the government shutdown and I hate that there are many Republicans who want it to end but they can’t out themselves to each other because of the stigma of being reasonable.
8. I hate that I am looking at Sams TV paycheck for 2 hours of work vs his contract for his upcoming theatre gig of 8 weeks of work and it is so much less. Theatre people work so much harder than film people and that will never be acknowledged in these different salaries.
9. I hate that I took my daughter to see Diary of Anne Frank and she asked me to assure her that this would never happen again and I couldn’t.
10. I hate that I keep buying things and getting home and realizing they did not end up in my car. Where did they go? Are they still in the shopping basket in the parking lot, and, if so, what made me so distracted out there?
Keep annoying me world!