I have a strange habit of staring off into space a lot. My college roommate used to call it my Blaine look. Blaine refers to the character played by Andrew McCarthy in Pretty in Pink. He had a sexy, mysterious look that essentially was a blank stare, throughout the entire movie.
I actually think it’s my way of processing information when I’m on overload. This is not to be confused with the very bizarre expression I make when I look at myself in the mirror. This one I can’t describe, but I have done it my entire life and I can really only describe it as a frozen look of horror with my mouth hanging open. It, too, is completely involuntary.
My kids now call my blank stare the Mommys Not Listening face. But really, I’m just trying to process that day’s information and also, I’m constantly pondering life’s big questions of the day.
1. Why did the FDA feel the need to take away my Ambien for 2 weeks? I realize I overindulged last month but don’t they know I can’t blog without it? And though I accidentally took a lot more than the prescribed dose, I was really funny last month. I am not as funny on Valium.
2. Will Mila and Ashton invite the whole cast of That 70s show to the wedding? I really think they should.
3. Why did I agree to hold my 6 year old’s birthday party, my sons bar mitzvah, and a large scale fundraiser all within 24 days of each other? Why are Teacher Appreciation Day, Mothers Day, and the last day of school also within those 24 days? And why can’t I learn to be one of those people who DON’T eat when they are stressed?
4. Who can wear white skinny jeans and look good?
5. Why did that coach get fired and banned for his racist remarks but Mel Gibson can still make and attend movies?
6. What if I screw up and give the kids at my boys’ parties the wrong party favors? Will the 13 year old kids at Sam’s bar mitzvah be upset that they got bubbles?
6. I really love Idina Mentzel but I don’t think she should sing Billy Joel songs.
7. Am I a bad mom because I don’t want to go on the school field trips? I just don’t like being on a bus anymore unless there are actors on there with me.
8. Why is my house on the market now? Whose idea was that during the most stressful time in my life? Oh wait, I know the answer to that one. It was Craig.
9. Speaking of house, is Season 2 of House of Cards really confusing or is it just me? Why did the rib joint have to close?
And so, if you see me these days and I don’t seem to hear you, please do not take offense. Most of the time I really am trying to ponder all of the events in my life and how to fit it all in.
Either that or I am thinking about how much I miss Will Gardner.