The Lord’s Prayer

Dear Lord,

I do not know if you are in charge of the Christians or Jews or what, but we need you very badly. It seems we have a demon in our house.

Please help us Oh Lordy Lord! (I will now speak as if I was a Southern Baptist which is my favorite religion) This demon is angry! This demon is scary! All who dwell in my home fear her.

The demon appears in the form of a pre-teen girl. She emerges from the room that our sweet baby daughter used to occupy. She sounds like our daughter, looks like her, even. But she is not our daughter, Oh Lord. We have looked for months, but we cannot find her. Has this frightening creature taken over her body?

When we least expect it, this female demon screams at us in a language we do not know. Sometimes we can make out the words, and it sounds like she is saying : “You don’t understand my life! I hate you people!” But the angry figure disappears behind a slammed door before we may speak to it.

We try to calm it down, find out what we did to upset it so much. The creature just rolls it’s eyes and mumbles a language we don’t understand. She throws things. She slams doors. She hates us. She brushes her hair for hours. She hates her hair.

We feed it: she does not like our food. We provide it clothing: it hates her clothes. We offer her shelter and we tell her to invite others of her kind over to share in our shelter: she says it’s too boring here. Others have cooler dwellings than us. She hates her dwelling.

Please Lord. Help us find our way. We fear we may have years with this monster. We know not what to do. We want to know where our little girl went. Is she ever coming back to us? Is she doomed to be this scary creature for all of eternity?

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4 Responses to The Lord’s Prayer

  1. OMG TOO FUNNY, she will live with u until she hits that time of the month and then if u r blessed u can count the days till it ‘re-appears, and HOPEFULLY u all survive Prayers for all of u

  2. allison cohen says:

    You are scaring me for my future with two girls!!!!

  3. Love that we are going through this together! Not much changes at 12 FYI… Thanks for the smiles! We got this!

  4. Karen Mahoney says:

    You need to throw in a “Praise the Lord” and a couple halleluiahs and she will be cured! (Yeah right… 7 years will cure her)

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