May 27, 2015
EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY: NOTICE OF RESIGNATION
I regret to inform you that as of today, I am tendering my resignation. I have really appreciated the opportunity that you have given me these past fourteen years in my current position.
When I first got hired back in 2001, the job seemed so exciting. It was something brand-new that I had never done before. As I grew up, I saw so many people do it. They made it seem so easy and fun. I envied their position and dreamed of the day that I, too, would be given the job.
At the beginning, the learning curve was huge. I was surprised at the amount of sleepless nights, stress, and confusion that I experienced. I never knew if I was doing it right. I felt that the work never ended. I was truly working 24/7. But I loved the work product. It was very rewarding to see the amount of growth and change in what I was working so hard to build. There was so much gratification and love in my workplace. I got hugs, kisses, snuggles, and little love notes. There were several essays and stories written about me. The theme was always how I was “the best ever.”
As I entered my twelfth year on the job, I started to notice little changes in my work. The thank you’s slowly stopped. If I heard one, it was often accompanied by sarcasm, as if the person was being forced to say it. There was anger and frustration everywhere I looked. The work become increasingly demanding. Doors were constantly slammed and there was mess everywhere I looked. I swear I kept hearing people mumbling “I hate you” and “You’re so stupid.” I know I was not imagining it.
I began to feel like I was being taken for granted. No one said hello to me unless they wanted something from me. I was blamed when things went wrong, even when I wasn’t there.
As year thirteen rolled around, I was so stressed out that I started drinking. I gained weight from stress eating late at night. I sampled all the illegal drugs that I never tried in college. I tried to run away and create a new identity for myself. No matter how hard I begged, they would not let me into the witness protection program. I tried to check myself into a mental hospital, but they told me that what I had was not a medical condition. It was merely a hostile working environment.
My paycheck got smaller. In fact, it was actually costing me money. I just stood there each day and handed out money to people that didn’t work nearly as hard as I did. No matter what I did, it was never enough. They just wanted more and more from me until I had nothing left for myself.
The technology that exists today is making it worse. Everyone around me is so wrapped up in their phones and on their computers. When I began this job, I had the feeling that it was me helping change the world. Now, I feel I am just merely in everyone’s way: blocking the screen.
I thought it would get easier as the years went on. I thought that I would worry less and sleep more. Instead, it is getting harder each day. It is actually becoming more stressful. I thought I would finally have the answers to all of their questions. Instead, they come up with new ones that I have never heard before. Some of them have no answers.
I am just not qualified to do this anymore. Maybe I’m too old. Plus, I’m really, really tired. I need some sleep.
And so, I tearfully resign my job as mother of these teenage children. I will give a two week notice so you can hire someone to replace me. I would be glad to help you find someone. I noticed a lion tamer at the zoo who looked like he was ready for a change of pace. Maybe a prison warden looking for some more challenging work?
PLEASE NOTE: I will remain a part time employee for my youngest project. It is only 7 years old and it still seems to want me around for things other than money or a ride somewhere.
Thank you so much for this wonderful opportunity.
Mom On The Road
by Allyson Ochs Primack