Shtick (A Parody of Shel Silverstein’s “Sick.”)

No need to go to Target today, I’m sure,
Said little blogger Momontour.

I have napkins, socks, and baking powder,
Pens and pencils, cereal and clam chowder.

My fridge is full, we’ve got milk and eggs,
I’ve got lots of razors to shave my legs.

No picture frames to buy, we don’t have any more space,
No cosmetics needed, I’ve got lots of products for my face.

I’ve got dryer sheets, and cute dish scrubbers,
I’ve got plenty of tampons and I doubt we need rubbers.

We’ve got frames, we have pillows, we have towels galore,
Our cupboards are filled with paper cups and Kleenex, we don’t need any more.

We have chips and cookies and lots of desserts,
I’ve got plenty of socks and shorts and relaxed v-neck tee shirts.

We have toys and games and Legos and books,
Slotted spoons and measuring cups, in case anyone cooks.

We’ve got aspirin and Motrin and a variety of bandaids,
Hair brushes and combs and ponytail holders for braids.

Our garage is filled with storage tubs made of plastic,
Plenty of toothpaste and floss- our teeth look fantastic!

Ten half-bottles of Windex sit under our sink,
We have Tide and 409, and we even own bleach (I think.)

Tons of soaps and shampoos sit there in our shower,
Candles and flashlights in case we lose power.

We’ve got batteries, light bulbs, paper clips and glue,
Lotions, hand sanitizers, and travel-size shampoo.

We have crayons and markers, tape, and a red pen,
We have bones for the dogs and deodorant for the men.

There’s no need for coffee, I have plenty of that,
Got cute stuff for the garden, and a new welcome mat.

We have sugar and spice and boxes of rice, and….

What? What’s that you say?
There’s a chance we might run out of toilet paper today?
Goodbye! I must leave!
I’m going to Target right away.







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2 Responses to Shtick (A Parody of Shel Silverstein’s “Sick.”)

  1. Andi says:

    Lovelovelove this!!!

    Sent from my iPhone


  2. RObyne says:

    Adorable!!! Someone read the “sick” poem at the talent show last week!!! Loved it then, too!

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